Foresight

Just when I was patting myself on the back for not having any recent yelling episodes or freak outs, less than 24 hours later, I have a full blown meltdown. Serves me right for feeling good about myself. A huge part of my tantrum was the fact that I am dieting *again* and, even though I don't look like it, I am starving. to. death. See that cruise countdown ticker over there? =========>>> I have exactly that much time to lose a bazillion pounds and, despite losing 5 pounds over the past few days, I'm still a far cry from duck-facing-it for the world. I'm also crabby as all get out from the lack of sugar and fat and carbs that my body is used to functioning on.

Anyway, a series of events took place yesterday that lead to me totally losing my schmidt in the front yard of our home minutes before the family had planned to head in for the night. There was yelling and spanking. Neighboring children were scolded and sent home... possibly forever. There were also witnesses and I am probably now branded as the-crazy-lady-on-the-corner. The kicker to the whole stupid, spiraling day is that my meltdown could have been prevented and I even tried to prevent it, but I was overruled and so, chaos ensued. In other words... I told him so.

Now, let's talk about a little something called foresight. My life is ruled by it. I think everything out five steps ahead, two weeks (months) in advance, no present decision is made without thinking of the possible future consequences. I don't like unpleasant surprises and so I feel better knowing what could happen if I make decision x, y, or z. And yes, I do realize to some people, this is the real reason as to why I should be labeled the-crazy-lady-on-the-corner.

In fact, Husband happens to be a subscriber to this particular theory on my insanity. He does not drink my particular brand of kool-aid opting to sip his own fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants-and-deal-with-the-consequences-later variety instead. Every once in awhile, perhaps in an attempt to "cure the crazy", he pours me a big, full cup of his approach. Every once in a greater while, I reluctantly give in and drink. And last night was an example of me spitting that shit out all over our front yard.