November 24, 2010

Looking Back

Today is a very special day because, as the birthday boy pointed out to me this morning, we have both a birthday and an anniversary to celebrate. 8 years ago today, not only did one of the most special little boys I will ever know enter the world, but that same magnificent day also marked the point in time that I would first and forever become a mommy. I think it speaks volumes that he would think beyond himself on *his* special day and remember me.

Happy birthday my sweet, sweet boy. Words cannot express how much I love you and how much I have cherished every moment of the past 8 years as your mom. Thank you for that privilege. I am truly blessed to have you in my life and to be a part of yours.

November 15, 2010

Social Networking

Anyone who knows anything about me, knows that I am socially retarded, socially awkward, socially stunted. I cannot handle people and the various forms of stupidity that comes along with them. This being said, I will now confess to participating in a a societal norm that I, in all reality, should avoid like the plague... Facebook. Oh, how I love Facebook (for all of the horribly wrong reasons). I gawk and stalk and take in all of the wonderfully unsettling drama. I can be found yelling at my monitor more often than I care to admit as I peruse the posts of others. I will drag anyone within earshot into the lives displayed before me... "Can you believe that she said that?! AGAIN?!?!"

I laugh as I realize that a friend of a friend of a friend has posted a 15 year old picture of herself before her ass tripled in size. Those of us who know her (or her friend's friend), are aware that this is a gross misrepresentation. Who is she trying to fool? Or is she still fishing for compliments based on what she used to look like? "Wow. You were hot. What happened?"

I wonder if that random woman ever realized that traffic to her site quadrupled after the wife of a friend of Husband's went on a tirade about the "inappropriate" content of her profile picture. You know we all had to go look... multiple times.

I am in awe at those people who have achieved level gazillion on Farmville. How many friends do you have feeding your goats and spreading sparkly manure on your crops? I cheated and bought some damn coins so I could expand my farm, well that and buy a Halloween costume for my farmer, but mostly to expand my farm and buy a pink tractor.

But sometimes, Facebook isn't so entertaining. Sometimes, it is down right heartbreaking. These are the times I become angry and start growling at the monitor. Angry at the hypocrisy. Angry at the neglect. Angry at the sense of entitlement that some people have, the nerve to think they deserve anything but a swift kick in the ass. Disgusted at the lies and deceit, knowing full well how certain people are passing their time, and seeing all of the lovely comments left by the unsuspecting.

I think to myself in these dark moments of social networking that perhaps I should call these individuals out. Post on my page, post it on their pages, post for the world to see that these people are FRAUDS. "Nice profile pic. Is it retro week? I missed that thread." *or* "Ummm, I think something is wrong with your profile. It keeps notifying me of a relationship status change...hourly." *or* "Wait, I thought you told me on the phone this morning that you were to hungover to drive your kid to school. Now she's home sick? Wow, you really are having a bad day."

But then common sense washes over me and I realize that I simply cannot rat people out all over Facebook. It would do more damage than good as I would be forced to start watching General Hospital or something equally as horrible since I will no longer have any more Facebook *friends* to supply infinite opportunities to judge, mock, and ridicule as needed. So I continue to lurk laughing, yelling and making Husband an unwilling participant in the insanity... on the other side of the screen.

November 13, 2010

Whaju Say?!?

The wonderfully funny Kate & Lydia over at Rants from Mommyland, are putting together a sort of dictionary of the crazy words that kids come up with called "The Lexicon of Green Tomato Minds". 6yr-old-girl is a pro at creating her own words that sound kinda like what she thought she heard. Last week her new phrase was "turtle twins"...

Turtle Twins: (noun) The kind of twins that aren't exactly alike because one has green eyes and the other has brown. *never mind that green-eyed child is a girl and brown-eyed child is a boy*

I submitted "turtle twins" for The Lexicon of Green Tomato Minds, but it didn't make the cut. Another of 6yr-old-girl's words did make the list, though...

Hooray: (noun) On the 4th of July we watch the Hooray with all of the floats and loud fire engines. People throw candy for the kids to gather.

For as long as she could talk, 6yr-old-girl has called a parade a hooray. Every time she says, "I can't wait to go watch the Hooray!", a little part of me melts over her sweetness and so I have never corrected her. I'm thrilled that Kate & Lydia found my lovely daughter's cuteness Mommyland Lexicon worthy.

**Update: Turtle Twins made it!**

November 11, 2010

Have a muffin, bitch.

3yr-old-boy has a speech delay. He struggles to communicate his needs and desires and becomes extremely frustrated when he is misunderstood. It breaks my heart daily, but he is making progress and is adding more and more (mispronounced) words to his vocabulary. I, of course, understand about 90% of what he is *trying* to say. Husband is lucky if he understands 20%. I really thought preschool would help the boy since he wouldn't have Mommy around to translate and would have to use his words more. And it has helped some, but not as much as I was hoping/expecting/needing. I'm actually starting to fear that his extremely young (have you even finished college yet?) teachers might be ignoring him instead of making the extra-extra effort to communicate with him.

I've spent the last month listening to Husband tell me that I am being hyper-sensitive while trying to convince myself that I'm really only looking to *socialize* the boy and it doesn't matter that he doesn't seem to have learned one damn thing in over two months. Something is not right, and it has been gnawing at me, but I have been doing some ignoring of my own I guess. But now there has been an incident. Two incidents, actually.

Incident #1: Husband overheard a child in my son's class tell his father that our son "is the dumbest kid in class." I cannot express the range of emotions that have ripped through me over this. I want to scream, I want to cry. To be honest, I have done both. I have chewed Husband out multiple times for not saying *something* and defending our child when really, I am just upset that I wasn't there to protect my cub. Mama Bear is still very much licking her wounds over this one.

Incident #2: My son got violently ill today at school... during Grandparents' Day... while in the POOL... as all of the grandparents watched. It was MORTIFYING to say the least. Here's the thing; I don't know why it happened since I wasn't in the pool area when disaster struck. Was it because he is sick and just couldn't make it out of the pool to the bathroom? ***OR*** Was he telling them he had to go and no one was paying attention since it takes more of an effort to listen to him? I will never know, but the fact that I would even think of the second possibility pretty much means my kid should not be entrusted to these people. And don't get me started on how MEAN the other parents were as I hosed my child down, collected our things, and did our walk of shame out of the building to the car. Sorry ladies, we really didn't have an evil plot to destroy Grandparents' Day. Here, have a muffin... I baked them myself.

So anyway, tonight I collected all of the leftover resources I have from the older two kids and I have decided that I am going to work with the boy here at home on all things preschool. I can't send him back there...Well, next week he will go for his Thanksgiving activities because I worked *really* hard on that damn vest... but after that, he is all mine. I am actually looking forward to it even if I am losing those glorious five hours a week alone that are not worth compromising my baby for. The older two kids helped me gather all of our shape, number and letter books this evening and they are super excited that I am going to be teaching their brother. I just hope little man feels the same.